Life, in itself, is a roller coaster. You got your ups, you got your downs; and before you know it, you're dead.

Well that's the adventure of it.

God has this funny attitude towards it, though. He likes to interrupt the "natural flow" and insert his own supernatural and (seemingly) completely irrational plan into the mix.

Take my situation for example: my parents tell me to break up with my girl because it's a distraction, rebellious, and outright disrespectful towards her.
I realize: shit... I have been all those things... I should fix them. If I have to break up with her for the time being, sobeit, but I'm going to do it so I can get things right.
Result: she hangs up crying; but understanding and I walk home alone on a cold, dark, snowy night feeling like I could shoot myself.

Ok. Round one. Next, I call her and tell her that there's no way I could break up with her because she means too much to me and I could never hurt her...
Result: we decide to "take space" to figure our lives out and talk to god and get things right with him before we move on in our relationship.
Wow... this is great... I can still talk with her and be together while not feeling like I'm going behind my parents back.

*ding ding* round two...
I realize I actually am going behind my parents back and things with her aren't getting any better. So what do I do? Being the ocd, add, bipolar freak that I am, I call her up and tell her I can't talk to her because she's too much of a distraction. But I still want her to message me and tell me how things are going with her on a regular basis
Result: she's even more confused now and doesn't know what to think. Again, I hit the weight bench thinking of poetic ways to kill myself.


About this time, I can feel her heart cracking from a thousand miles away. I know I can't keep this up and still have any kind of a relationship with her.

So what do I do?

we both agree that it's best not to talk for the time being and that we need to be totally independent of each other in god so we won't bring each other down. This, as far as I can tell, is wonderful. I don't have to worry about her, she doesn't have to worry about me, we'll meet down the road and everything'll be fine.

Heh... yeah... then my dad talks to me. He tells me that things aren't always as they seem. He tells me that, even though it appeared to be in god's will at the time, it's not. In other words, he tells me everything I already know. Then he tells me she doesn't think she's the one for me to be with because of her immaturity.

No by this time, my roller coaster has gone through everything; the drop, the loop, the 5g spin, the twist, you name it, I've felt it. I've wanted to curl up in the snow and die, I've wanted to paint a picture in the streets expressing my joy, and I've wanted to run the hell away from everything so as not to deal with any of it.

Now I'm questioning everything. Questioning whether I've heard god, whether I know what I want, even whether I'm worth any girl being with.

Then god steps in with his (seemingly) irrational supernatural plan.

Apparently, she thinks I'm a great warrior. She knows I'm growing and, even though I don't feel like it at all, I'm turning back into the man she fell in love with 4 months ago.

My best friend tells me that, even though he sees both of our flaws, he thinks we're both right for each other and that he's writing a letter to my dad in her defense.



So yeah. That’s my story for the last 2 weeks. Fun, huh? Yeah, sorry. I just had to get that out.

Life’s a grand adventure. Don’t waste a minute of it. Even when you don't want to go on.