"Hey, I'm Nick," the slightly overweight thirty-something says as he shakes our hands outside the semi-shady nightclub.

It's an old winery across the street from the bay on Lake Erie in Sandusky, Ohio. We walk down the steps to The Underground Bar as Nick comments, "Careful. The steps are always wet." A room with 3 billiards tables is on the left as we walk into the main bar. Again Nick hits us up with some useful information, "If you wanna shit, use the women's room. The guy's is clean now but it won't stay that way."

We walk towards the stage with a more than decent sound system and a fantastic lighting system. "Fuck, I left the stripper poles up. You guys can use em if you want or take em down. Doesn't make a difference to me." Nick is unapologetic about his presentation of his bar, even after he introduces us as "Christian Hardcore" to some early patrons.

Smoke now fills the room as I sit at the merch table typing this. People have already started getting drunk as Rob Zombie, The Used, and System of a Down blare over the house speakers. I keep thinking to myself, "We've been here before. We'll be here again. All we have to do is play the music."

This is the epitome of outreach. A bunch of 17 and 20 year old kids in a christian band on tour for 3 weeks playing in a shady Ohio strip club to 30 and 40 somethings here for Kevin or whoever's birthday.

To be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way. Since leaving Cornerstone with Aneirin on Sunday, I've been more in touch with what God's called me to than ever before.

To be in a van, sleeping in Wal-Mart parking lots, stealing internet from Panera, running into random a girl at a laundromat/coffee shop who just happen to be vocalist/guitarists with a huge heart for the lord, and running into a sixty year old ex-minister trying to keep his haven venue for teens afloat, asking for spare change at Wal-Mart and the Theater so we can put an extra gallon of gas in the van...

This trip is incredible. I've seen more lives touched and more of God working in our hearts in the past 4 days than I have in months. To be on the verge of being stranded in a small town like Sawyer, Michigan every single night is invigorating. Depending on God to give us the 7 dollars we got at Wal-Mart last night is incredibly encouraging and faith-building.
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And something happened earlier today while we were sitting in the van waiting for 8 o'clock to roll around so we could head to the venue... I realized I still miss a girl. So much so that it hurts to face it and get over it. But Daddy also told me that he'll comfort me while I face it.

So how easy is it to get over a lost love on my own? Near impossible. How simple is it to go on tour, run out of money, play in a strip club, and say, "No worries," without trusting in a God who loves us despite our arguments and homosexual jokes?

The more I live, the more I realize that I am nothing without my God. That even the seemingly simple things that happen in my life are nearly impossible to face on my own, but no matter how much of a screw-up I am, that God will love me unconditionally and totally, and will always be there for me to lean on.

In return, I'll sit in this bar and smile at all the half-drunk old biker dudes who think it's cool that a group of teenagers has the guts to rock out in a bar with them. Maybe someone will ask me what gives me the guts to do it with my boys. Maybe I'll get the chance to say something about how my life would be over were it not for my god.

Or maybe I'll have a conversation with someone about the weather or the economy or how much it hurts to get over an ex.

Whatever happens, I'll stand here and be a light in the darkness for my god. I'll be what little voice there is in the crowd yelling for itself.

Maybe someone will be touched. But I'll at least have payed my dues by giving all of my life to Him to use.