Tonite was bro-time.

Dinner at Applebees with my 30% off coupon.

At least, that's all it was supposed to be...

The night started when Dan (Haight), rockin his new stache, decided he needed to relieve himself after a glass of chocolate milk and three cups of coffee, and went to the little boy's room.
Chris (Perry) decided he might need some help, and followed him in.

Now, Chris likes to be close to the men in his life, so he followed Dan into the bathroom stall. This must have alarmed and maybe even slightly frightened Dan, because he jumped over the stall door to get away from Chris. In doing so, he caught his ring finger on the top of the door, and tore the skin from the bottom of his finger. His ring also caught on the door, and tore the rest of the skin up to his knuckle.

They both emerged from the restroom, Dan holding his finger wrapped in a bloody paper towl.

After paying our bill and emerging from the restaraunt, bro hugs were exchanged and Dan tossed me his keys, simply stating, "To the hospital."

We drove to the E.R. and the checkin nurse asked Dan what happened, so he just said he caught his finger on a stall, not wanting to explain that a young boy followed him into the bathroom to do God knows what.

Corey and I waited for the staff to hand us our security passes and ventured into the heart of the hospital, finally finding Dan sitting on a chair while the nurse gave him that "you did what?" look as he finished telling his story.

We three sat and marveled at the brutalness of his wound for scores of minutes before two of the nurses began taking the Electric Ring Cutter out to cut the ring off of Dan's finger, which was beginning to turn blue from his wedding ring cutting off his curculation.

They unpacked the box and began handling the pieces of the tool like two five year olds examining a voodoo set for the first time. Remarks like, "That looks right" and "I think that would work" drifted across the room to our concerned faces.

They finally looked at us, amused and slightly embarrassed, and went to look for a senior nurse who knew slightly more than them.
Nurse Amy came in, face aglow with experience, and explained to them that the professional equpiment that the hospital had spent hundreds of dollars on would not work on Dan's finger, and requested they go find a Dremel tool in one of the doctors' lockers.

They returned with the tool, and Dan realized out loud, "Hey, that's the same tool I use when I'm repairing guitars..."
After debating amongst themselve, the now four nurses, plus Nurse Amy, decided to try with the professional piece of equipment to cut off Dan's ring.

This did not work. So they all looked at the Dremel sitting on the table, then glanced at each other, and began to go to work.

Take 1: Dan's ring started to heat up and burn his finger, so Nurse Amy instructed one of the nurses to get the saline solution.
Take 2: Dan holds the saline saringe and doused the ring to keep it at a comfortable temperature.

Two cuts later, two nurses held clamps on Dan's ring, prying it from his finger.

Gause, hydrogen peroxide, and a touch of vaseline later, Dan's finger is all bandaged up, and Liz can sleep well, knowing her husband still has his finger.


I love how our bro nights can't stay simple.


Credits:
Thank you to Chris for making a nice, boring dinner exciting.
Thanks to Nurse Amy for relieving our fears of Dan losing his finger
Thanks to Dan for being such a good boy and not cursing at all while his finger was being all but ripped from his hand.